i hate blogspot

" I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. Harder. You’d think we’d be getting better at it. But there’s just more and more chaos. " - Nick & Norah

I'm nervous about everything coming up in my life. The thought of college is really starting to scare me. I've been overly emotional lately which is very out of character for me. I've always beent he girl who doesn't really give a shit. When i got upset or nervous it would last for all of a day and be over. I'm starting to dwell on things and get stuck in my thoughts. I think about stuff so much is makes me sick.

I really miss my big sister. That may be part of my problem. She's really my other half. I have nobody to really talk to. Granted my friends are great and i can talk to them.. but my sister is who i really need.

I spoke to her today. She told me I need to stop waiting for someone else to make the decision, that i need to know what i want and go for it. Which is really how I am.. but i haven't been lately.

I know that people change. I've changed a lot in the last year. I have different goals and ambitions and I want different things then I did in September when I started senior year.

I have a playoff game today.. possibly my last game ever.. hopefully we'll win and go to city champs. but that depresses me too.

FUCKKKKK

IDK i have nothing more to write.

hopefully things work themselves out. i really do.